2005-2006 Winning Entries
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September 2005
9/12 - 9/16 "As treacherous as another country hanging the United States flag upside down."
9/19 - 9/23 "As arrogant as the Boston Red Sox after winning their second championship when the New York Yankees won twenty-six."
9/26 - 9/30 "As easy as beating kindergartners in dodgeball."
October 2005
10/3 - 10/7 "As convenient as having a twenty to slip Mr. Kanick on the day of Open House."
10/11 - 10/14 "As hard as surviving Mrs. Schleifer's social studies class when you didn't do your homework."
10/17 - 10/21 "As spontaneous as Mr. Kanick hitting Frodo with a volleyball."
10/24 - 10/28 "As evil as Mr. Kanick when he finds out that there is no turkey slop for a whole month."
10/31 - 11/4 "As creepy as Mr. Kanick's shiny, bald new haircut."
November 2005
11/7 - 11/11 "As idiotic as betting your eyebrows in a game of blackjack."11/14 - 11/18 "As fatal as swimming in a pool full of electric eels."
11/21 - 11/25 "As funny as Ms. Zaffran calling Mr. Kanick to see if 'funner' is a word."
11/28 - 12/2 "As bizarre as taking a test when your teachers begin talking about farting."
December 2005
12/5 - 12/9 "As frightening as Michael Jackson's face."12/12 - 12/16 "As idiotic as licking peanut butter off of a steak knife."
12/19 - 12/23 "As dramatic as Mr. Kanick when here is no turkey slop for a month."
January 2006
1/3 - 1/6 "As electrifying as Mr. Benker's guitar skills."
1/9 - 1/13 "As unusual as months without turkey slop and Mr. Kanick has yet to kill anyone because of it."
1/16 - 1/20 "As bubbly as putting too much laundry detergent into the washing machine."
1/23 - 1/27 "As cold as telling your girlfriend that you will meet her at the movies and then ditching her for her best friend."
1/30 - 2/3 "As happy as a student when he didn't do his homework and then there is a snow day."
February 2006
2/6 - 2/10 "As happy as a student who didn't do his homework and then there is a snow day."2/27 - 3/3 "As old as the comeback 'I know you are but what am I?'"
March 2006
3/6 - 3/10 "As important as bringing your planner to social studies."
3/13 - 3/17 "As breakable as a plastic spoon when trying to scoop ice cream."
3/20 - 3/24 "As slimy as the eggs gremlins hatch from."
3/27 - 3/31 "As disposable as the gum wrapper I wrote this simile on."
April 2006
4/3 - 4/7 "As mini as an object when you look at it through a telescope backwards."
4/10 - 4/13 "As eminent as a cat's eyes in the dark."
4/24 - 4/28 "To whine like Mr. Kanick when there is no turkey slop."
May 2006
5/1 - 5/5 "You can't tell by looking at me, but I can run like the wind blows." (Forest Gump)
5/8 - 5/12 "To smile like the comic book guy when he buys 100 tacos for $100 for a movie marathon."
5/15 - 5/19 "To brag like you had the biggest crystal in science class and your partners are absent so you get all of the gum."
5/22 - 5/26 "To laugh like the Pillsbury Dough Boy when he gets poked."
5/30 - 6/2 "To sweat like a fat guy running after a speeding ice cream truck on a hot summer's day."
